fodder for the masses

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Yanks - you're losing

'must not lose again, must not lose again'
George - repeat the chant after me - 'must not lose again, must not lose again' - you'll feel empowered, you'll feel there is actually hope there somewhere, it's just hard to find.

Well over 2000 deaths in Iraq, even one is unacceptable, but 2060 is just beyond being acceptable.

Your legacy to your country is going to be a shocker. Your Dad is not going to be happy. Your voters are already unhappy.

As a country that prides itself on being the world police you have a very average track record -

Korea: Thrown out of the place after having to concede everything North of the 38th parallel.

Vietnam: Thrown out convincingly, and I mean really convincingly - I think we could agree that it was an embarrassment on a scale unheard of, even for the US.

Rwanda: Or wherever you managed to get flogged by the coons - for gods sake, how did you manage that? Mind you, you did rewrite history with a unique and twisted movie painting everyone as heroes, even if they did drag the odd body through the streets.

Bosnia: Or whatever that little place was - used to be Yugoslavia until the tossers managed to get in to power. What did you do? Shoot up the place, bomb a good amount of civilians.

New Orleans: What happened? Just because they were black doesn't mean you need to ignore them. They are, after all, citizens of the US, like it or not.

There's more but I have become bored with the list - but you should have been taking note Georgie boy, for you will be blamed for the mess you have managed in Iraq.

Now I agree that the place needs to be nuked. No doubt about it - nuke it, then see who manages to survive.

But if you don't get around to nuking it soon there will be nothing left to level - get on with it you drawling fool.

It's absolutely fine to be jetting around the East, telling the Chinese how to run their politics, but you have to remember they think you are a bigger joke than their own leader.

Now, take my advice - nuke 'em or pull out. You're a shot duck no matter what you do, so for the parents sake, bring 'em home, right it off as a bad move, and get on with providing for your own citizens. Please.

You're embarrassing me and I'm not even a citizen.

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Monday, November 14, 2005

terror is a female bomber with facial hair

Getting rid of the bad taste..
..in my mouth was a priority. You seldom get to see the sight of an Iraqi woman close up.

Now I know why.

Now I know why they all wear those black bags over them. No one is gonna want to be seen with that thing hanging off their arm - not even the husband who took the best course of action - pull the trigger and turn to mince.

Naturally, it's straight to the bay
Such was the shock of seeing that hairy critter who claims to be a female, and worried she might start some sort of weird fashion in women here, I had to transport myself to the bayside for a spot of kite buggying to calm my nerves.

More like almost killing myself and get sunburned to the bone.

Slim pickings in the wind called for the JoJo to take care of the power supply, the second time I have been able to find an excuse to use it.

An hour of roaring from one end of the park to the other, wind now humming nicely in the bridle, me giving it a shot of determination, hanging in there, hard turns, dragging sideways back on the straight, all good.

Finally had to downsize to the Ngen, aggressive but smaller, just to give my legs a rest.

A good afternoon away from the news - bombers blowing themselves up all over the World now, in Pakistan, in Afghanistan, the cult of the bomber seems to have taken hold. No defense against a person who is a bomb.

But, please, no more female bomber survivors - they're too hard on the eye - ugly even, and it's not something a man wants to see so early in the morning.

And... she found someone to marry her? How ugly was he then?


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Are all female bombers butt ugly?

The secret is out. We mostly knew it anyway. Iraq's female martyr brigade is not a good look.

Never before have we been unlucky enough to see one of these “ladies” after a bomb attack still in one piece. I for one have become used to the standard photo of the head that was once connected to a body. I thought that's why they always looked so rough in the head.

Wrong.

Now we have vision of a very brave “survivor” and she is as ugly as any of the other ones I have seen, and she's still connected to her body.

Should be a law about looking as rough as that and still being able to claim she's a female. I've seen better looking camels.

Seems she didn't share quite the same resolution as her poor suffering husband, as she “forgot” the vital 'key', the bit that makes the bomb go - left it in the car.

Yeh, right.

Should have a good time doing the rounds of the talk shows for a bit and then be put out of her misery by someone with better taste.

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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

It's the park, it must be

Does kite flying count as sailing practice?
Still trying to get a grip on the “green on the right - red to the left thing” - something confirmed everytime I do the park trip - the markers for the exit from the canal area remind me each time I go.

Park time yesterday - the inaugural flight for me and the 6m JoJo that Briskites donated.

By the time the wind actually managed to propel me and buggy across the park I was exhausted from trying to hand fly the thing in a total lack of breeze - something that leaves you feeling a little less than energetic in that sort of weather.

Soon as the afternoon breeze came into the bay there was no time to consider navigation of any sort other than remembering to turn at both ends of the park. A bad time to note that a 6m kite takes a lot longer to turn.

An especially bad time to note that sort of thing is when you are getting seriously close to being actually in the canal unless you have some wicked reverse thrust available.

Survived, burnt, tired, happy. The JoJo does the job, and does it well.

Packing up I discover that the fly lines are color coded - green to the right, red to the left. So, if I ever get confused when I'm out there doing my “Old Man and the Sea” thing, all I have to do is launch the kite, check the lines, and we're cool.



Thursday, November 03, 2005

It's sailing this time.

Blame the Sperrys
Already done to death on the zoetrope blog, the Sperry saga has caused great anguish.

I want to sail. I want to sail the thing myself. I don't want to share a small vessel with all manner of other people, crammed together, sharing their diseases, their thoughts, their comments. They might also be better at sailing than I am and that would piss me off terribly.

I want a small boat type thing that has at least one mast, something to steer with, and perhaps a compass to look at, and some sails.

Red means not right
Last few weeks I have been making an effort to acquaint myself with some of the essentials of sailing. I've got to the bit where you have different colors to indicate which side of the boat you are looking at, assuming you can see the bloody thing.

It all comes down to this - you have to keep green on the right. If you do that you will always be able to find that pesky little channel where you left from. It helps if you know which end is which before you decide on color thing.

The difficulty is, if you keep the green buoys, indicators, structures, on your right you will need to reverse out of most ports. That's the bit that I haven't managed to figure. I expect to crack that little number anytime now.

It cannot be hard to sail - I see many little yachts when I am down in the bayside regions looking for some buggy action. You will not convince me that all of those people are intelligent - statistically there has to be a number of complete fools amongst them, proving my theory that anyone can sail, perhaps even me.

I'm thinking of going to sailing school. I was thinking of going to sailing school until they explained that I would be required to share it with a few other people. Not possible. I need the thing to myself. I want to sail by myself, why in hell would I want to share the thing with other people?

The sharing problem looks like being resolved - sort of. Obviously the teacher needs to be there, unless I can convince him to simply radio me from shore with the things I need to know.

Must be about time to get the Hemingway books out again and gather up a a few tips.

The biggest pity of the entire thing is I don't like fish. Still, it's amazing what you can do with a can of baked beans.

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CIA - pick me, pick me

I'm a candidate
What do we have now? A smoke screen, I believe, by the US government to keep it's citizens minds off the fact that they can't clean up after a storm, and they seem to have trouble keeping CIA names out of the paper.

Secret prison camps spread around the World, serviced, as we were told a month ago, by a private jet network that travels the globe picking up and delivering prisoners, we presume, of war.

People with seriously bad attitude get to go in these planes, so they tell us, and are whisked away, somewhere, where they are tortured. The theory being - as they would have everybody believe - is that they can do things to people in other countries that they can't do to them at home in the good old USofA, the home of the free.

Sounds like pure bullshit to me.

I want a ride in the CIA torture jet
It's my turn. I am a heavy doubter of the American ability to do anything except perhaps lose 2039 people in an unwinable war, I am struck by the stupidity of a country that is happy enough to take on a middle eastern country, and lose, but is unable to offer even the most basic of service to the devastated areas around New Orleans, primarily because those victims are black.

All of the above should qualify me for a jet ride to an unspecified country where I am expecting to find people who will make me stand on a bucket hanging onto wires, with a sack on my head.

Hell, I might even get to take part in that odd game that they had in Iraq where they make human pyramids and take photos of them - all the better to get caught with.

Facts are the US has nothing left to frighten people with anymore. No one believes the old adage of 'the mighty USA', we've all seen that little number turn to shit in the last few years, so now they have to turn to school boy intrigue with secret planes and 'black' sites.

Seems to me the cost of running one of those jets for a week would make a big difference to the life of someone still waiting for aid after the hurricane.

Perhaps they could put it toward the defense fund of Lewis "Scooter" Libby who had to take the fall for the 'naming the CIA operative' thing that's going on there at the moment.

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